Okay so… I don’t even know where to start. Senior year was supposed to be “the best year ever,” right? The fun one. The last one. Yeah, well. For me? It just feels like straight-up stress 24/7.
I already got held back once, and the fear of failing again literally lives rent-free in my head. Every test feels like a final boss fight. Every time I get called up, my stomach drops. I feel like I’m walking on the thinnest piece of ice and it could crack any second.
Some mornings I just can’t get up. Like physically. My alarm goes off, I stare at the ceiling, and my body just says “nope.” I’ve been skipping a lot because I genuinely don’t have the energy. And then I feel guilty about it. And then the guilt makes the anxiety worse. It’s a whole toxic cycle I can’t seem to break.
I don’t have a huge friend group either. I basically have one close friend. Just one. And sometimes even that doesn’t stop me from feeling insanely alone. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks pretty often. My heart starts racing, I can’t breathe right, my thoughts go crazy, and I just sit there pretending I’m fine. Spoiler: I’m not.
I don’t know how this year is going to end. I just know I’m trying. Even when “trying” looks messy and inconsistent and not good enough. If anyone out there feels the same way, just know you’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re just overwhelmed. And honestly? Same.
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